Unaltered Voices

  Photo by Daniel Canetti on Unsplash Have you ever wondered why you stayed somewhere longer than you should have? I was thinking about this a couple of months ago. I have stayed in relationships far longer than I should have, and I kept asking myself why. Out of the blue, I heard the answer, and it made so much sense. Most of us are conditioned to believe that to love and be "loyal" means sacrificing yourself for others' shortcomings.   If you have been in church any length of time, you are familiar with Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. If you are in the Christian community, you are aware of Jesus being the savior of a sin-sick world. This construct has taught us that this is love, right? We believe that we are to express love sacrificially, so we bear the weight of another person's behaviors towards us as a measurement of our love and loyalty. On an unconscious level, many of us are not aware that we are acting like Jesus. You are NOT Jesus!!! Here we are i...

  Photo by  Meriç Dağlı  on  Unsplash You’ve been in the basement far too long. The stairs were always present, but you refused to climb, or can you see it through the clutter? There was never a lock on the door, but you would not turn the knob. You stayed in the dark because you wanted a party in the basement with you, but no one RSVPed. How many parties must you throw before you realize no one is coming. Several guests opened the door, bid you to come, but you remained. Do you like it down there, or can you not hear the answer when it calls?  Are you immobile? Is that why you are stuck and become so accustomed to your state of being? Has dysfunction become your new norm? The clutter is overwhelming. I think you know the staircase is there but have a hard time reaching it. Time to shift something around so that you can see your way upstairs. Did you know you can create a new world from chaos? You do not have to remain in the basement, but you have to w...

  Photo by Heather Zabriskie on Unsplash According to Webster, time is the measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues: duration. Look at that definition and ask your self when did it heal you. If it took you ten years to recover what aids did you utilize during this time? If you broke a limb, would you seek medical treatment, or would you just let it be and wait for time to correct the break? I am not sure where we learned this saying from, but I am here to help you understand that time alone does not heal wounds. People are walking around mentally, physically, and spiritually broken, waiting for time. Pain is seeping through the fractures in everything they put their hands to, yet they await time.   I am not exempt; I fell into this trap! Yes, I was one who stopped dating or having anything to do with a man for years because I thought that would help me heal the areas in me that kept me in vicious cycles with them. I d...

    Photo by Roman Romashov on Unsplash I have an example I will use.  Plug it into your particular thought process to determine if it is healthy for you or not. The way we think explains the emotions and responses we have to things, and those emotions grant a greater understanding of why we behave the way we do.  The Bible says: “in all thy getting, get understanding.” As a Belief Therapist, I have observed and understood why we do the things we do. Some people have good intentions, but along the way, they have picked up toxic traits that keep them bound, unable to live the life God has for them entirely. God does not want anyone in different relationships every six months. Yes, I put an s on relationships, but that is what it has come to for some. We’ve made a relationship a method of coping with what’s going on internally. We’ve opted for new victims rather than a therapist.   I can’t believe my ears!  I don’t trust women, he said. Why? I d...

    Negative self-talk is damaging!   Have you wondered why you haven't accomplished those goals you set two years ago?  Many create vision boards over and over, year after year, without achieving their goals. The vision seems to fade away after a few months, and we drown in routine. Opportunities have come and gone because we fail to prepare, and some who are on paper are not mentally. I use to be this person. There was a time in my life I was not accomplishing at all. I talked myself out of so much. I have no support, I do not have the finances, I'm not good enough, or I'm a failure. The way I spoke to myself kept me stagnant. The way I talked to myself took root and made accomplishing goals impossible. Whatever I watered grew. I remember others telling me what they saw in me, but I could never receive it because I did not see it. Continually putting myself down led me down a dark, lonely road. A shift in my mindset was needed, inner healing was neces...

Some life coaches have experienced trauma, healed and overcame it, and are now helping others. They have become who they need for others. Other times, they have mastered an area of their lives and are now helping others who exhibit gifts in that same area. Your need for a coach will depend on where you lack the knowledge or resources to accomplish your goals.   Coaching and consultants are taking the industry by storm. Anything you need, there is someone to help. It is a matter of finding them and making sure they are a good fit. By the end of this article, if you feel you need a coach but not in my area, please email me to help you find who you need.  Life Coaching does for the mind what a personal trainer does for the body. We help with assessing a situation to provide strategies for moving forward. It is a gradual process that allows individuals to dig beneath their thoughts and beliefs to help them understand internal obstacles to their success and wellbeing. ...

Bea Sz. on Unsplash As I evolve in my learning, I realize what I believe affects me emotionally and my behavior. If my thoughts towards myself are off, emotionally, I will be off producing off behavior. There was a time I believed I wasn’t loveable. There was a parental love I wanted so bad, but I did not get it. Yes, years later, I understood my parents loved me in the capacity they received love, but at the moment, I felt rejected and confused. I had a great understanding then that love was not supposed to make me undergo the levels of pain I felt in relationships, so when I kept getting the same thing, I began to internalize that as I wasn’t worthy of love. This thought process haunted me, and it affected every relationship, intimately or socially. I gave all of me away because if I’m not worthy, why bother with the other stuff. All of me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I was never there for myself. It was about what I believed and the hope that maybe ...