Skip to main content

Why You Shouldn't Invest in Negative Self-Talk



Negative self-talk is damaging!  Have you wondered why you haven't accomplished those goals you set two years ago?  Many create vision boards over and over, year after year, without achieving their goals. The vision seems to fade away after a few months, and we drown in routine. Opportunities have come and gone because we fail to prepare, and some who are on paper are not mentally. I use to be this person. There was a time in my life I was not accomplishing at all. I talked myself out of so much. I have no support, I do not have the finances, I'm not good enough, or I'm a failure. The way I spoke to myself kept me stagnant. The way I talked to myself took root and made accomplishing goals impossible. Whatever I watered grew. I remember others telling me what they saw in me, but I could never receive it because I did not see it. Continually putting myself down led me down a dark, lonely road. A shift in my mindset was needed, inner healing was necessary, replacing the lies I told myself with the truth would set me free.


In every situation that did not end well, I focused on the negative. Heck, when it was going well, I thought about what could go wrong. I was at the point where I did not expect anything better to protect me from being let down as I had most of my life. It was a defense mechanism that was toxic, and I needed to detox. My motivation for life decreased, I battled bouts of depression, and I felt helpless. Everything seemed to be a challenge for me because of how I spoke to myself. I always repeatedly replayed things that were said about me and the harsh treatment because I was not among the entitled. It took time and commitment to get where I am now, but it was all worth it because now, I Am Accomplishing it. Yes, more than I've ever in short periods. Once the husband and baby come, that will be the icing on the cake.


Did you know that negative self-talk heightens stress? Can you imagine the constant strain on your heart? There has to come a time when we understand the effects on our entire being. It may not seem that big of a deal, but the underlying conditions produced by toxic thoughts will blow you away. You must know that when stressed, your body produces chemicals, and overproduction has damaging effects. "Your adrenal glands, located atop your kidneys, release a surge of hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol. Adrenaline increases your heart rate, elevates your blood pressure." Every time you get stressed, this is what happens, and I am sure we have inner conversations daily, multiple times per day. Think about that.


From personal experience, my negative self-talk was brought on by one of the following, to name a few:

  •   Life experiences              
  •   Disappointment
  •  Things people said about me.
  •   Never validated as a child.
  •  How I perceived life events (life changes when we fix this)


Your time is now! Time to learn a new language and replace those nasty things you have said about yourself with the truth. You will not allow another year to go by while those ideas and dreams remain in the distance. Stand up! The best recovery tool I used during my process is to only say to myself what I would say to someone else. If I am not telling others they are failures, then why would I say that to myself? I cannot get upset at others for talking about me if I do it to myself daily.  Grab a journal now, yes, now hurry.  Write down all the negative things you have said to yourself within the last week. Once you finish, close the journal. The next day, read what you wrote. Surprising right? For each negative thing, you said to yourself, write a positive one next to it. Focus on that positive area for 24 hours. It is time to unlearn to learn and love ourselves more than we do. Everything on that vision board is within arms reach. Look at that board right now, write down each as a goal in your journal, listing underneath what it will take to get there and do it. Knock them off one thing at a time and do not stop. Do not talk yourself out of anything. Get it done.

If you gained any clarity from the article, please share with others spreading soul organizational health. 

Please visit my website

S.O.L.O Coaching & Consulting LLC


Popular posts from this blog

Identifying When To Invest In A Life Coach

Some life coaches have experienced trauma, healed and overcame it, and are now helping others. They have become who they need for others. Other times, they have mastered an area of their lives and are now helping others who exhibit gifts in that same area. Your need for a coach will depend on where you lack knowledge or resources to accomplish your goals.   Coaching and consultants are taking the industry by storm. Anything you need, there is someone to help. It is a matter of finding them and making sure they are a good fit. By the end of this article, if you feel you need a coach but not in my area, please email me to help you find who you need.  Life Coaching does for the mind what a personal trainer does for the body. We help with assessing a situation to provide strategies for moving forward. It is a gradual process that allows individuals to dig beneath their thoughts and beliefs to help them understand internal obstacles to their success and wellbeing. Coaches help people ide

#1 Most Scariest Rollercoaster

  As a child, I loved rollercoaster rides. It was the highlight of any vacation with my dad or whomever I went it. They were huge, scary, and got my adrenaline rushing every time. I enjoyed the thrill so much I wanted to take a spin repeatedly. It did not matter if these things had me hanging upside down, entering a dragon’s mouth, taking me underwater, or looped me faster than I can think. I wanted it. Boy, was it fun! Of course, I wouldn’t dare do it alone; I needed company to experience them with me. I wanted them to feel everything I felt; there was no way I needed to be there alone. The scariest ride was not one I experienced on vacation; I was in my hometown. I stood there pondering the outcome if I went there. The longer I thought about it, the deeper I traveled into my thoughts. I no longer had control, I lost myself in it, and at the time, it felt good. I felt empowered going there, although the side effects were dangerous. After I got off the ride and became aware of my surro

The Devaluing of the Single Mother

  Are you aware of the chatter? It’s heard loud and clear; secret thoughts are no longer private anymore. Like a car depreciating as it exits the car lot, single mothers are made to feel this way for giving life. I found that women with husbands are belittling us just as much as men are. Do we do anything right? I use to wonder why there was such a great fear behind being a single mother. Some would have rather died than to be marked with those scarlet letters. Many did not make it because bringing them forth was not an option due to the stigma.   Single mothers are targeted and verbally destroyed. And by all means, don’t be a black single mother, double whammy! Black women experience demonization for having children out of wedlock and for being a black woman. It is not enough that our menstrual is considered a curse; let’s take it a step further and apply that to our existence.   Did you hear about the law passed to wear the hair growing from our scalp freely; then we have to listen