Showing posts from February, 2023

Pathway to Acceptance

  In my next book, I will share how I overcame rejection. Rejection is a topic many deal with that starts in childhood and continues to linger into adulthood. We find ourselves excluded by our loved ones, only to affiliate with groups and organizations that further reject us. We want to fit in so badly that we unknowingly give offthat scent. When the sharks smell blood, game on. They welcome you initially, make you feel safe, then you open up and talk about your pain points to have those same pain points used to break you further. The sharks are capitalizing on your fear of rejection, knowing you would do anything to belong. Once they are done with you, you have more wounds and are worse off than you started. Every time this happens, the teeth sink deeper. Pulling them out of the gash to get help frightens you even more because you could bleed to death, so you let them stay, pretend you are okay and find another situation to get in, repeating the cycle.   Just as we need food and w

When We Forgive, Do We Forget?

  Is forgiving someone and forgetting the pain they cause possible? Can you honestly say when you see them, there are no sensations in your body at all? People always say, just let it go, forgive and forget, and don't block your blessings, but what are they saying? By definition, forgetting means failing to remember or neglecting to bring up. So what is being asked of you when you hear these statements is to let it go and not mention it again.   Unless we suffer from some memory loss, there is no way we will not remember how someone made us feel. You can push it so far back into your mind thinking you have broken free, but that diabetes result is a sign that your body kept score. I am not sure where this forgive-and-forget stuff started, but when we understand better, we see it is manipulation at its finest. Family members are notorious for telling people to let something go because they do not want to be held accountable.   I am sure I lost some people at diabetes, but here is the

Psychologically Unsafe Living Environments

  "My living environment began to get highly toxic and uncomfortable to the point where I cried a lot, was angry with myself, and was in a state of depression." -Brittany D. Jackson   I felt this! I could relate to the author as she detailed how hard it was for her to live in one toxic environment after the other. These environments take a toll on us mentally and emotionally, making it difficult to trust others. Suppose you have ever felt extreme anxiety, low self-esteem, worthlessness, or feeling drained being around certain people more than likely. In that case, you are living in or have lived in an unsafe environment. Most of us have, at some point, experienced these living conditions at an early age in our childhood homes.   I grew up in psychologically unsafe living conditions. There was access to designer things and everything else to look good on the outside, but the internal structure was in shambles. I could not wait to get out on my own; there was no reason for me t

Wide Awake VI Breaking Free

  In the book, The Coaches Connect Volume II , the writer, Annette M. Avery, talks about how she stayed too long in toxic relationships. She talked about how the signs were all there, but her lack of boundaries and love for herself made it easy for men to groom her. She talked about overstaying her welcome in this situation when the signs were there and how the longer she stayed, the worse matters got.   I have been where she was. It was the last one that woke me up. The last one slowed me down enough to pay attention, so I started taking notes, reading up on what was happening, and talking to my therapist. Combining all three helped me trace what was happening to my childhood. I firmly believe that we should use our past as a reference so that we can adjust our attempts in the future. Before that relationship, I was not doing that. I started over the same. I thought changing a few external things would make a difference, but I later learned the hard way: I needed to go within.    Not