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Showing posts from 2021

#1 Most Scariest Rollercoaster

  As a child, I loved rollercoaster rides. It was the highlight of any vacation with my dad or whomever I went it. They were huge, scary, and got my adrenaline rushing every time. I enjoyed the thrill so much I wanted to take a spin repeatedly. It did not matter if these things had me hanging upside down, entering a dragon’s mouth, taking me underwater, or looped me faster than I can think. I wanted it. Boy, was it fun! Of course, I wouldn’t dare do it alone; I needed company to experience them with me. I wanted them to feel everything I felt; there was no way I needed to be there alone. The scariest ride was not one I experienced on vacation; I was in my hometown. I stood there pondering the outcome if I went there. The longer I thought about it, the deeper I traveled into my thoughts. I no longer had control, I lost myself in it, and at the time, it felt good. I felt empowered going there, although the side effects were dangerous. After I got off the ride and became aware of my surro

Accountability Shall Set You Free

  I understand that we have done things a certain way for so long; a different direction scares the life out of us. As cliché as it sounds, there is no way to get a different result doing the same thing. I came to realize this. I judged my life and the circles I was going in. I could pinpoint when I would be up, and the moment I would sink, year after year. Then one year, I decided to break the cycle. I did not care what anyone thought about what I was doing or my investments; I did what I needed to for myself. You will have to get to that point also if you want what you want. I had to make one of two choices, give up or fight. Too often, we choose to give up rather than fight for who we desire to be. During the process, I learned I had to do it solo. There was no tribe initially; I, myself, and my will to want better for my life. Don’t get me wrong, I grew upset when there was no support, but I could not blame anyone for not believing in me if I had no hope in myself. We can only expe

The Devaluing of the Single Mother

  Are you aware of the chatter? It’s heard loud and clear; secret thoughts are no longer private anymore. Like a car depreciating as it exits the car lot, single mothers are made to feel this way for giving life. I found that women with husbands are belittling us just as much as men are. Do we do anything right? I use to wonder why there was such a great fear behind being a single mother. Some would have rather died than to be marked with those scarlet letters. Many did not make it because bringing them forth was not an option due to the stigma.   Single mothers are targeted and verbally destroyed. And by all means, don’t be a black single mother, double whammy! Black women experience demonization for having children out of wedlock and for being a black woman. It is not enough that our menstrual is considered a curse; let’s take it a step further and apply that to our existence.   Did you hear about the law passed to wear the hair growing from our scalp freely; then we have to listen

Flawed Measurement of My Strength

Why is my strength determined by how much you put me through? Did you watch your mom break time and time again only to embrace him once again? Was that strength to you? How many times must I cry a river and torpedo inside? I am vital to you because you cheated, and I took you back. I am capable of you because I raised our child in lack. I am stable to you because you deliberately abused me psychologically, and I did not break. You don’t see the damage as I have learned to pretend well. Maybe my ability to act is a strength. When will my strength be measured by my success and not my pain? You don’t understand how many times I wanted to take the easy way out. How many times I stood over you as you slept, wanting to put your lights out. How many times I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t say goodbye. That does not mean I am strong; it is a weakness. But your mother did it, you say. When will you admit you despise her? She distorted your view of all women; you have convinced yourself otherw

Practice Makes Perfect

  What does it mean to practice something? According to Webster, it means to perform repeatedly. Therefore, any activity, skill, or exercise we regularly do we are practicing, and practice makes perfect. We are rehearsing, and the more we hearse it becomes automatic. Imagine being a part of a dance team; daily, you are rehearsing your routine until the big day. Your feet hit the floor, and you are killing it. You embodied every move, and the song played in your head on repeat. You did so well you shocked yourself. I know it feels good, right? Did you know we can rehearse self-sabotage too? I think we tend to miss that there is no disclaimer. Webster did not say “only when you practice positive things.” The Bible didn’t tell you we manifest what we ask or think, only if it is positive. So, what do you think is happening to the negative energy you give off through your words, thoughts, and actions? Playing past failures over and over is called rehearsing, so in doing so, you have perfe

How I Reclaimed My Voice

  It took me over a decade to get here, but I have landed.   I can speak my truth without hesitancy, and it feels incredible.   My throat energy center decluttered through speaking, and it has not only helped me but others.   I allowed the pain to take my power, I handed it over to others, and it nearly drove me insane. I constantly questioned everything about my existence due to my fractures and having others project theirs onto me. If owning my story is the start of living my best life, I won’t stop until every center is balanced and I’ve reached my higher self. I recall being the one who would shrink back and isolate myself emotionally whenever faced with life’s challenges. I completely withdrew and took my hands off whatever I had going on at the time. It has been an absolute pleasure studying to show myself approved, healing, and evolving.   If you are wondering how I got here, allow me to elaborate. I arrived here because I did something that I talk about all the time. I hea

Roots of Pathological Lying

  I was in a relationship with a person who was in one with another woman our entire relationship. He took her around his family just as he did me. He spent significant time with each of us, winning and dining. The moment we discovered one another, he lied and pretended so well that it was Academy Award-winning. I was crazy and aggressive, and she was an ex who couldn’t take no for an answer. There was no acquaintance with honesty at all. The root was so profound; I felt there was no hope. He lied so much I lost my ability to believe anything he said. He lied without effort about those things I knew was true. I had receipts, but he had a story behind them that made absolutely no sense. However, he kept lying. Life sentencing evidence, but the lies continued. Lying came naturally, more so than telling the truth. I knew then I was dealing with a pathological liar. It can become the liar’s everyday life, to the point where their whole existence is a fabrication. This level of lying is usu

I Became Who I Needed

  What I Do   My name is LaToya Nicole. I am a Bestselling author, Certified Belief Therapist, Life Coach, and organizer.  The name of my company is SOLO Coaching & Consulting LLC. I am virtual, so although I reside in Louisiana, my reach is not limited. In my practice, I have successfully integrated counseling, coaching, and organization to help clients process setbacks, get to the origin of stagnancy, and move forward with their goals and desires.  There is a direct link between a person's mental health and the area where they spend a lot of time. Hiring me as a coach means we would declutter first to lay a solid foundation to build on. Organization was my first love. Years ago, I was on track to building an organizational company that would empower others to maintain organizational health. Still, I had not yet realized the inner work I needed to invest in before making that leap.   At that time, nothing worked out. I stopped before I could start, and life became a viciou

How Uncertainty Puts You In Bondage

  It is imperative to be sure about who you are and your purpose in life. A clear vision will keep you focused on your destination leaving little room for exits that take you off course. Growing up in a household with dreams more significant than what you are experiencing can be challenging; when you share them having your light dimmed causes doubt to creep in, and before you know it, uncertainty has shaped your life. You no longer feel you are capable of anything but what you saw: households without husbands, men who are upheld by their mothers in their error, daughters who don’t know their fathers, and another generation of dysfunctional patterns. At some, you will feel this urge to go higher, yet the chains remain. What do you do when someone else can recognize your ability but your heart stills hear “you will not amount to anything”? Imagine desiring so much more while the grip of becoming a product of your environment has you in chains? You want to believe, but your mind operates

Discomfort Is Necessary For Your Success

  Photo by Bailey Littlejohn on Unsplash Most people don’t know much about the process of actually committing to their life dreams and goals because most people don’t keep most of their agreements. Most people add a silent, unconscious modifying phrase to all their commitments: “...as long as it’s not uncomfortable.” What they are saying is I want to stay in my comfort zone. I want to achieve my goals, but I do not want to change anything I am currently doing to get what I want. There has to be another way. I will pray that it happens. Anything we desire requires movement. When we are afraid to move, momentum is lost, and we get stuck. Your mindset has nothing to do with an external entity but everything to do with the polarity you operate.   Discomfort is one of the values of commitment, one of the reasons for committing in the first place. Within us is an automatic goal-fulfillment mechanism. When we commit to something, we are telling the goal-fulfillment mechanism, “I want thi