Unaltered Voices

Photo by  Aimee Vogelsang  on  Unsplash HELP, why is this happening to me?  Why am I going in circles? Do I fight through this, or do I succumb to the pain? When does it end? I cannot keep this up. The robust exterior, while internally I am fragmented, is over. I cannot do this anymore. The pretend has worn off, and I can no longer keep up appearances. It is showing up in everything I do. I am attracting more of how I feel than what I want. More brokenness, more hurt, more pain. Everything I touch turns into the state of my being. I didn’t meet my goals; I stop before I start. With every setback, I relived the trauma I experienced ten years ago. It doesn’t matter how big or small; it all hurts the same. I am tired, and I want to be free. Whatever that is, I want to be me. Pieces of me are everywhere. I am shattering more with everyone I find; what will I have left? These were the thoughts that ran through my mind during those severely depressive states.  I did not know how

Casualty- a person killed, wounded, or hindered by some event. Medically speaking, this word means a severe or fatal accident.    You can be a casualty of your childhood trauma, but this article is about how we fail to pay attention because we are so in love, which causes us to suffer in relationships. Has an event wounded you? Was the blow of the pain incapacitating? Were you able to catch your breath, or did you find yourself paralyzed by the hurt you suffered? In a single moment, the trajectory of your life can change. One minute you are enjoying a movie, the next, a knock at your door ushers in a heartbreaking discovery changing things. Imagine being a casualty of someone’s unprocessed childhood trauma. I have. Before seeking proper treatment, I was also the culprit. I have been in relationships that typically ended after years of tolerating the individual not showing up altogether. The root of this toleration for some represents their father’s role in their lives, or