Unaltered Voices

  I contributed to a book about the pits I landed in due to how I responded to life’s challenges. How I responded became a detrimental habit I fought to break free from. I was destroying my life from the inside out. Life was grand when things were good, but emotional turmoil was my portion when the toxic pattern kicked in.   While journaling yesterday, I thought about my pit experiences. Yes, experience (s). There were many, some I dug for myself. One author in the same book referenced above talked about how she stayed too long in terrible relationships. As I journaled, I cried, thinking about how my decision to remain in spaces longer than needed caused great mental and emotional calamity. Yes, I experienced abuse mentally and emotionally. I experienced betrayal trauma, but the red flags were clear before getting too deep. I had dreams; I heard song lyrics and even had a few messages warning me, but I overrode my intuition. My gut screamed to run the other way, but I stayed.  

  I have a few questions for you. Once you have answered, then continue reading to learn why I asked.   Are you a self-sabotaging? Do you get in your way? When you go through things, is the way you cope unhealthy? Is your self-esteem low? Do you struggle in your relationships with others? Have you experienced depression?   So how did you do? Take out your journal and write your feelings about your responses to the questions.   Your response determines if your inner child needs healing. They say, "no child is left behind," yet we always leave them behind.   1.     The you that was bullied at school and home. 2.     The you that went without food. 3.     The you that experienced physical abuse. 4.     The middle school, you experiencing a nasty divorce between your parents.   5. The 16-year-old you so in love experiencing heartbreak; she needs to be saved too. They all need to be saved!   At each stage, you experienced adversity that shaped how you feel about yourself; t

  In my next book, I will share how I overcame rejection. Rejection is a topic many deal with that starts in childhood and continues to linger into adulthood. We find ourselves excluded by our loved ones, only to affiliate with groups and organizations that further reject us. We want to fit in so badly that we unknowingly give offthat scent. When the sharks smell blood, game on. They welcome you initially, make you feel safe, then you open up and talk about your pain points to have those same pain points used to break you further. The sharks are capitalizing on your fear of rejection, knowing you would do anything to belong. Once they are done with you, you have more wounds and are worse off than you started. Every time this happens, the teeth sink deeper. Pulling them out of the gash to get help frightens you even more because you could bleed to death, so you let them stay, pretend you are okay and find another situation to get in, repeating the cycle.   Just as we need food and w

  Is forgiving someone and forgetting the pain they cause possible? Can you honestly say when you see them, there are no sensations in your body at all? People always say, just let it go, forgive and forget, and don't block your blessings, but what are they saying? By definition, forgetting means failing to remember or neglecting to bring up. So what is being asked of you when you hear these statements is to let it go and not mention it again.   Unless we suffer from some memory loss, there is no way we will not remember how someone made us feel. You can push it so far back into your mind thinking you have broken free, but that diabetes result is a sign that your body kept score. I am not sure where this forgive-and-forget stuff started, but when we understand better, we see it is manipulation at its finest. Family members are notorious for telling people to let something go because they do not want to be held accountable.   I am sure I lost some people at diabetes, but here is the

  "My living environment began to get highly toxic and uncomfortable to the point where I cried a lot, was angry with myself, and was in a state of depression." -Brittany D. Jackson   I felt this! I could relate to the author as she detailed how hard it was for her to live in one toxic environment after the other. These environments take a toll on us mentally and emotionally, making it difficult to trust others. Suppose you have ever felt extreme anxiety, low self-esteem, worthlessness, or feeling drained being around certain people more than likely. In that case, you are living in or have lived in an unsafe environment. Most of us have, at some point, experienced these living conditions at an early age in our childhood homes.   I grew up in psychologically unsafe living conditions. There was access to designer things and everything else to look good on the outside, but the internal structure was in shambles. I could not wait to get out on my own; there was no reason for me t

  In the book, The Coaches Connect Volume II , the writer, Annette M. Avery, talks about how she stayed too long in toxic relationships. She talked about how the signs were all there, but her lack of boundaries and love for herself made it easy for men to groom her. She talked about overstaying her welcome in this situation when the signs were there and how the longer she stayed, the worse matters got.   I have been where she was. It was the last one that woke me up. The last one slowed me down enough to pay attention, so I started taking notes, reading up on what was happening, and talking to my therapist. Combining all three helped me trace what was happening to my childhood. I firmly believe that we should use our past as a reference so that we can adjust our attempts in the future. Before that relationship, I was not doing that. I started over the same. I thought changing a few external things would make a difference, but I later learned the hard way: I needed to go within.    Not

Mark 14:44, ESV: “ Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, The one I will kiss is the man. Seize him and lead him away under guard.”   When we think of betrayal, disloyalty, and being sold out comes to mind. Someone has broken our trust, deceived us, or hurt us. When caught, it is quickly said, “it was not intentional,” but how can it not be when it began with a thought? The act was thought about and then acted upon, so how could that not be intentional? If we kept it real, it is because we are a people that do not take accountability and own the fact that we are bruised and damaging to others. We want to do what we want and what we have been allowed to do.   I have experienced betrayal in the following ways: Friends siding with the enemy. Family assassinating my character. Co-workers were spreading rumors. Not being defended & More   Because of the shame and humiliation associated with betrayal, I found my way back to Depression Avenue, and each time was worse than the la

  Allow me to encourage you; you will make it through. I do not know what is draining you mentally, emotionally, or physically but you will make it through.   Last year whipped our ass in more ways than one. I got some licks in, but the gut punches dropped me. While the moments I was down to catch my wind seemed like months, I got back up with a strategy. I studied my enemy and the moves it made to take me out, so when I rose again, I did so with knowledge and power. It is only power because I applied it. What would it profit me to learn and never use what I learned during those adverse times? I went through a season of unpaid invoices, taking care of a family member, deciding to leave a toxic work environment, and accepting what I thought I had with someone I did not.   All of this happened back to back. It was a lot. I did not know where to start unpacking it all. The mental exhaustion got the best of me, so I decided my first step was to get some rest. While resting, I began having