When We Forgive, Do We Forget?
Unless we suffer from some memory loss, there is no way we will not remember how someone made us feel. You can push it so far back into your mind thinking you have broken free, but that diabetes result is a sign that your body kept score. I am not sure where this forgive-and-forget stuff started, but when we understand better, we see it is manipulation at its finest. Family members are notorious for telling people to let something go because they do not want to be held accountable.
I am sure I lost some people at diabetes, but here is the thing: unaddressed pain affects our health, just like smoking, drinking, eating Popeyes, drinking milk, etc. Even if you don't eat poorly, you still have a 50% chance of getting ill because you are not well emotionally. Our emotional health is just as important as physical health. To balance the scale, give both areas the love and self-care needed. Eating right is only the beginning; there are layers of healing. Eating right helps immensely, but we must top it off by facing what we continuously run from.
What I found is that when people make statements like "let it go," "forgive and forget," and "it does not help to talk about it," it means I do not want to hear this because I do not want to face my shit. The church taught me to forgive, so not saying anything about it means I have let go. Meanwhile, the pain is festering, and I have become bitter and harsh, projecting my trauma onto everyone that comes my way. I say whatever I want to call it, keeping it real, and I have an issue with everyone who tries to expose people to the truth. I have forgiven and forgotten.
You can release people from your spirit, but you will remember the experience with them. If you didn't, there would not be a need for any of the work healers do. Why would you need inner work if all has been forgotten? It makes no sense.
We should normalize getting to the root and healing for real. I know this healing thing has become a fad, but you can tell who is doing the work and who is putting on. We have adopted looking good and not doing well because the flashy clothes, makeup, and surgeries hid our actual state. After a while of pretending, it will get exhausting, so do yourself a favor now and get the help you deserve. Yes, it hurt; I know you do not want to revisit it, but as long as you run, it is on your trail. Your body remembers everything, which explains why you are so easily triggered.
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