Unaltered Voices

  I rarely begin my post this way, but why not? Let's do an activity together. Think about your 2022 until this point. If each month represented a difficulty you faced, make a list of them. For example: ●       January-Lost, my job ●       February-Child support payments ceased ●       March-Someone hit my car ●       April-I got a minor break ●       June-Found, a new job, catching up on bills ●       July-Still trying to catch up ●       August-Almost there By now, you get the picture. In your journal, write each adversity and how you handled it. If you run from it, own that. Was your response healthy (mentally, emotionally, & physically), or did more mishaps occur because of your reactions?  For each month/challenge, write out your feelings. Pour your heart on paper, telling the who, what, when, where, why, and how it all made you feel. For each adversity you listed for each month, consider these questions: Have you grieved the loss of your job? Have you petitioned the

  When I think of lasting change, I think about the thing I desire to change, having an effect for a long time. I have made changes in areas of my life, but the change did not last. While I was ready to do better, I fell off at some point. Once I began to go within, I learned why I could make some changes and why it was easy for me to fall back into old patterns. The change had not taken root. Because there wasn’t a good foundation to build, I returned to how I did things before. In most cases, I would be triggered and respond the way I did before, which brings me to my first point. Healing is necessary to create change that continues to exist.  Yes, I am talking about healing. You should know me by now, and  I'll talk about it until we get it. Once we heal the triggers, the old ways of responding can no longer hinder us. Recovery involves learning what is interfering with you and creating a plan to overcome it. Yes, make a list of your limiting beliefs and invest in a coach to hel

  You Touched a Wound!   I looked up the etymology of offense, and it read, “wounding the feelings of, or displeasing, another.”   Have you ever wounded the feelings of another person? Did you know you could hurt feelings and not know it initially? They won’t tell you they will start moving differently.   Or maybe you are someone that is offended by everything. If so, you are in a lot of pain that you should process. The offense will come, but it does not have to feel like someone penetrating an already sore wound.   I used to get offended a lot. Offenses caused me to walk away from people prematurely, give up on my goals, and fall into depressive states. It was terrible, but when something offended me, it triggered a wound. When those wounds opened, I responded the same way I did when I first experienced the circumstance that caused the injury.   My life was a sinking ship. My self-esteem was low; I did not believe in anything I did. I would emotionally spiral out

  Proceed with caution   No one disrespects a small business like our own people. What is so weird about that is that some of the main ones have small businesses. I see why people would instead hit a clock than deal with the foolishness. I do both. I am an employee and a business owner, and I did not want to do either in the last few weeks. I took a break, and I still felt all over the place, so rather than thinking too far ahead, I decided I would do this one day at a time.   If you are like me, you have done the hard labor of implementing systems you teach others to do for a fee, only to have others book your services to copy your designs. It is much later in the session you realize the agenda. The lack of individuality of people who copy content without giving credit is a pain in my ass. Imagine them copying so much that they forget to change your link. It is sad. Money has been spent on marketing and branding for others to take it and book clients using your words. I feel b

One minute you are up; the next, a trigger has sent you into an emotional decline. When the rollercoaster ride is over, you feel you can go no further. Or is that my experience? Let's be honest with ourselves; we cannot live like that in a world of constant reminders of people, places, and things that may not hold pleasant memories in our minds. Do you expect emotional catastrophes every time, or will you put in the work to heal? These episodes do a lot of internal damage you may not realize, so let us do some inner work before things get worse. Have you heard of inner work? Maybe shadow work is a term that is familiar to you. They are the same and will require healing the part of you that did not get the care and attention you needed. It is your inner self that learns to survive after experiencing trauma. Please be gentle with yourself and show compassion. If you beat yourself up about things, more than likely, you treat others the same. I posted on my Facebook page a few weeks

  It was one of those weeks. I did not feel like doing anything or going anywhere. I felt tired, but I was unsuccessful when I tried to sleep. Whatever it was, I could not shake it. Before, I did not take the time to explore the feeling deeper, but this time it was different. I wanted to know what this pattern was all about. While I figured it was my body's way of telling me I had absorbed so many emotions I needed to release and recharge, there was something different about this moment. It was familiar but different. There was something I needed to pay attention to. The feeling would not let up, no matter what I did to shake it. I determined it was time for me to do some heart-searching.     Have you heard the term introspection? If you have worked with a coach, they probably called it going within. Some may have said it was soul searching, but in a nutshell, it is an examination or observation of one's mental and emotional processes. Last week, along with another coach from T

  "How could I assume removing her from the environment would change anything when I did not alter the environment within?" -LaToya Nicole The Set Up A relative convinced everyone I was the devil. She typically started a fight when she was ready for me to get out of her house. So, when everything popped off, I started packing. As much as I could, I put in bins and sat outside. She prevented me from coming back inside for my child by blocking the door with her body. Several times I asked her to let me get my baby, but she refused. She hit me in my chest, shoving me; three times, I warned her not to put her hands on me, and then it happened. She did it again. We fought, and someone called the police. The family member told the police I had attacked her, and they almost believed I was the aggressor because only my hair was a mess, and she was bleeding. Playing the victim, she told them she would not press charges because of the baby. She never mentioned she started the incid

  I drifted off to a land that was free of all pain . It saddened me to come back. -LaToya Nicole   I was alone in the dark, staring at the prescription bottle. I loved the way its contents drifted me to a place where everything felt good. Even the emotional pain I never thought a pill could fix was gone. They were narcotics prescribed for an injury to my back, but they were helping more than my back. Those pills helped the state of my emotionally abusive romantic relationship, the verbal assaults from family while they constantly put me down when I was not doing what they wanted. As much as I never wanted to conform, it seemed less painful, but was it? Keeping peace caused me mental and emotional catastrophes. It may have felt good not to be everyone's punching bag because I was submitting, but it did not feel good going against what I knew was right. My self-sabotaging ways began early in age. They manipulated me on many levels, shaping how I interacted with people until I

  Everyone is not a safe place. -LaToya Nicole Two places I have been in that have been the loneliest and darkest places of my life were when I was in the pits of depression and where I was not heard. A third place that made the other two even more painful was where I did not feel safe. I have written about this and publicly spoke about it, but I have never felt safe. My safety needs were not met as a child. There were moments as a child I hid in my closet, mentally escaping and playing with my toys pretending I was on another planet. As I grew older, writing and music became my way of escaping it all. Sometimes in adulthood, I would want to go into the closet to hide, but what would my daughter have thought? I was indirectly teaching her how to cope with life's adversities, and I failed for some time. I tried to hide my pain and not display how frustrated I was with life, but she felt something because every moment I felt down, she always wanted to give me her pacifier and a big