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Identifying Faulty Thinking

  Faulty thinking is why you are not progressing!     There I said it. I did not say it to make you feel bad. I was taught that the truth sets us free, so hopefully, you will sit with the statement, do further research, and get the help you need. You have a purpose to fulfill. Do not allow your toxic thinking to keep you from the finish line. I was once that person. There would be this sense of “I can do it,” only for it to be followed by: it will never work. I am not supported; I failed at this before, and so on.   Distorted thinking is hell. My way of thinking (mindset) was described to the letter when I read a description of hell. There was no peace, only constant torment. The torment was so bad that I wanted to end it frequently. If you have ever heard of a self-fulling prophecy, the way we think is just that. Most believe it is what we say, but our thoughts are a frequency we put out in the world, too. We can not run from our thoughts. Although we assume they are secrets, they hav

From Goals to Accomplished, Goal Setting Made Easy

  Before we get into the meat of this article, let me get this off my chest.   Consistency is a principal key to success. I know it can be upsetting after two videos, and you have not gone viral. The things that we want will take work, and if that means showing up daily to ensure your end goal is met, show up. Be intentional about your goals and implement the steps to reach them. You want it, right? Put yourself in a position to succeed by being as productive as possible and getting proper rest.   Are you tired of hearing about goal setting? I know, and so am I.   I was just kidding! I love setting goals and helping others do the same. The joy and excitement that pours from me when I check off actions and follow through with my plan feel next-level astonishing. Writing your vision and making it plain is only the beginning. Most write a lot down, but we never act on it. If we do act, we fall off for several reasons. I get it; life happens, and things come up: we have babies, experience

Identifying What's Limiting You

When you think about a limitation, think about a goal you desire to accomplish, but something limits your access to it. Sometimes, you have begun the work and are almost finished when suddenly progress halts. While in other instances, you can’t seem to get started. What do you think is limiting you? Is it what you feel about yourself or your daily routine? Maybe there is a lack of support in your relationships or a career draining you. In my work, there are multiple factors, but I address the client mindset first. What does the client believe about themselves? Then we determine where the beliefs originate and devise a plan of action to change that dialogue?  The worst thing about a false belief is that when it is rehearsed, it becomes part of our DNA and will take intentional work to uproot. We hold on to things that do not serve us, depending on where they came from. If mom said it is true, or Grandma told me, then it must be accurate, right? We hang on, refusing to see that we are

A Journals Burden

  You hold so much. If you don't, who will? I can't! It is too much for me to carry. For a long time, I tried, but I ended up seeing a chiropractor. IT AFFECTS EVERYTHING when I hold it all, and my health deteriorates. But you are different; it does not weigh you down as it does me. You carry it with grace. I was supposed to learn to carry my hurt with grace, but I failed that class. My hair was falling out, my skin was breaking out, and I was gaining weight; it was too much for me. You look the same, though, unbothered, full of pain. How do you do it? I am glad you do it. I trust I can be safe with you. You allow me to say how I feel without using it against me. Unless you fall into the wrong hands, that can be detrimental.   Whenever I cast my cares upon you, my tears tell me my core temperature as they fall warm upon my face. Once the rain stops, my shirt needs changing; I am shaking and feeling faint. Does that show I released it all for that session? I hope so. I have enou

The Isolated Trap

"We have the power to save ourselves beginning with changing our mindset." -LaToya Nicole I started telling my story of my depressive ways in an anthology, In Spite of It All. I spoke about my battle with isolating myself during some of the most challenging times in my life.  I was hurting so bad vocalizing the pain would have sent me into a state of shock.  It wasn’t just the current pain but the pains that erected from my past in combination. All of it felt familiar; the faces were slightly different. I had not taken steps to heal, so it felt like I was a little girl crying for someone to save me with every encounter. Isolating is a form of self-sabotage, and it kept me circling for years. Every time I shut myself off, it was harder to break free. I stayed away long enough to feel a little better; decluttering my space, and journaling helped me exit the pit, but I did not stay out of it. These modalities help to a degree.  Depending on the severity of your pain, you should

If These Walls Could Talk

  Oh boy, where do I begin? Sadness is in the walls; trauma flows as a tub left running, and pain circulates like the blades on a fan. The walls have collected the secrets. Walls there watching, listening, and they have a story to tell. -LaToya Nicole, Alone in the Dark   Do the walls of your childhood home have a story to tell? Would they share things you dare not say because what happened in that house stays in that house? Yes, I’m sure you have heard that phrase. A statement like that is one of many that has embedded into the walls of your mind. It has taken root, making it hard for you to break free. You have prayed for 40 days and 40 nights, but the sting won't ease. I bet those walls know what happened. They know what you are holding on to; they could articulate it better than you.   Have you ever considered the burdens the walls bear holding all of those secrets? I can’t imagine the joy they finally get to share because someone spoke up and got away. They rejoice and mark yo

Undetected

  “ Around the same time every year, I would sink into the worse state of sadness; every year, it was worse. I recall doing my cousin's hair at my apartment when I said those words, “I think I am depressed.” I had not acknowledged that to anyone before that conversation. There was some relief in saying it aloud; however, recognizing it did nothing to spark the need to seek help. ” -LaToya Nicole     In my new book, Alone In the Dark, I spoke about how the state of mind I lived in went undetected for years. I was not familiar with depression to the extent I am now, nor were those around me. I was a sad little girl. The way I felt most of the time, I thought that is how people identify. Imagine how overwhelming, saddened a person is after losing a loved one; that is where I lived. I left the house from time to time, but that is where I woke up and slept. I had grown physically, but emotionally, I remained on 978, Wondering Why I Was Born Avenue.   The laughs, hanging out with friends

Tell Your Story Unaltered

I watched an interview on A&E with a woman who shared her story about being raped and impregnated at age ten. She was nine when he started and had no understanding of what was happening. She told her mother, but her mom told her it did not occur, then later blamed her when she realized it was happening. Her mother told her she was fast. Yes, a nine-year-old being "rapid, quick, or abstaining from food" gave an over 30-year-old man the okay to undress and penetrate her. If I lost you, I included the etymology of the word, fast, and nowhere did I find that it meant as implied. Where did this foolishness originate? I am willing to bet it's right off a plantation, and we continue to abuse and indoctrinate our children with the same ignorance intended to keep us ignorant. Why is that always the go-to when sick people hurt children? That's not it; she was forced to marry the rapist by age eleven. Her parents held the perpetrator to such a high standard because he held a

Alone In The Dark

  Like me, you have had to figure out a lot alone. I can not say when this started, but I have held my feelings in my hands for most of my life as if I were holding a baby, trying to figure out if I feed or change them. It has been nothing I wanted to do, but I had no choice. The way I felt about things did not matter. Having my feelings dismissed when I was feeling down was suffocating. Sadly, I normalized it and accepted it in relationships. It was a cycle that was hard to break. It did not help that I lost my voice, so I sank into a shell even when I wanted to respond or question things. My emotional state was all out of sorts. I gave up repeatedly because of the clutter that I did not know was clutter until much later. The sting of the disappointment faded. I assumed I was okay. I went on with life, did not talk about it anymore, and that was that. Journaling has been my thing since I was a girl, so I released some of how I felt, but not enough to keep it from erecting and sending