Delayed But Not Denied


I know what it is like to set a goal to have it crash and burn. I was a pro at throwing in the towel; it could have been my profession. I knew how to go through the motions and pretend I was accomplishing; I would have been a great actor. Every year until several years ago, I set goals at the beginning of the year and worked on them until something triggered me, and I spiraled emotionally. I could not get a grip on why things were not working out. At one point, I almost adopted the mindset that God had another door, avoiding taking a deeper look at myself.

If you have been following me for any time, you have read my story of self-sabotage and how destructive my mindset was. So, I speak from experience when I tell you that shaking back is possible. If you try to make the changes, you can accomplish your goals. Reaching the mark may be delayed, but it's not denied unless you refuse to do the work, but not if you take steps to overcome what's hindering you.

I remember I used to hide until the setback passed. Back then, setbacks seemed like bad hailing storms; I took cover only to resurface months later. Months later, I would attempt to get back in the game. There was no motivation while I was encountering the setback. Because I stayed in that place of stagnancy for so long, ultimately, I grew depressed. Yes, I avoided the consequences my mindset brought on; eventually, I had to stand up and face the music, and that is when my life changed. I had nowhere to hide. I was exposed and vulnerable. It was time to do something different or be stuck in that vicious cycle for the rest of my days. I wanted more; I wanted better for my life. I was tired in every way possible, so I decided to give myself chances no one else gave me and fight. 

Here are some things to consider before you recommit and begin again. You will need your journal, so grab it and a pen.

  1. If giving up is a pattern, what happens when you call it quits? Are you experiencing a significant life event? Does something trigger you during that time?

  2. Have you spoken with a professional about hindrances as it pertains to goals?

  3. What is your thought process around what you desire to accomplish?

  4. Are your goals yours?

  5. Do you believe you can be successful at what you want to accomplish?

  6. Do you believe in yourself?

  7. Did you come from a family of people who settled for jobs just to get by and never dreamed of?

  8. Are mother wounds the source of your inability to see things through? I know we do not like to speak about our mothers, but at some point, you must face the pains she may have caused if you want to progress in life. The things we refuse to acknowledge are the small things that are spoiling the vine. 

You can accomplish this, but you must address the underlying issue first.

Thanks for reading!

For more help overcoming what is limiting, grab a copy of The Coaches Connect, A Guide to Navigating Adversity. This book was written by various coaches who have been where you are and healthily navigated through it. 


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