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Alone in the Dark, Volume II Part IV: Stop Underestimating People

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It takes time to get there, but eventually you do. You stop underestimating people. “I never thought you would do that” are words I used to say often. I don’t say them anymore. Today, I put nothing past anyone. If they can cheat, they can kill you. If they are jealous, they can kill you. If they switch up, there is a reason, and you need to step back long enough to figure it out. You don’t have to announce it. You don’t have to confront them. You just subtly create distance. You learn them enough to know what to say to get away. You take mental notes. You store information not to retaliate, but to connect dots later. Pay attention to their silence when others are celebrating you. Notice how when something good happens for you, they don’t congratulate you. They say words, but never congratulations . Whatever others admire about you? That’s what they target. Their advice never quite makes sense. It feels off. It often sounds hateful, but it’s delivered under the guise of concern. “I’m ju...
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Alone in the Dark, Volume II Part III: Love Bombing, Masks, and the Cycle That Hooks You

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Just because someone does nice things does not mean they are nice people. That is love bombing 101. If you are easily enticed by gestures, they’ve got you. If validation is what you seek, they now know exactly how to hook you. And you need to be very careful with this, because this is how people are conditioned to accept abuse. It starts with excess. Overdoing the nice things. Overcompensating. Making you feel seen, chosen, special. Then comes the explosion. They blow up on you. Hurt you. Cross a line. Afterward, they cry. They apologize. They say they were having a bad day. They insist they never meant to hurt you. They do the thing you like most. You accept the apology. And the cycle begins again. I was beaten so badly once that I cried myself to sleep thinking about how I could take myself out. That night, my body shut down in ways I didn’t understand at the time; I wet the bed. The abuser entered my grandmother’s room to apologize. But by then, something in me had already shifted. ...
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Alone in the Dark, Volume II Part II: The Same Person in Different Fonts

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They all had her face. The dream was so clear it startled me awake. I was at a speed dating event. Every table I sat at, every person I leaned toward, every conversation I attempted to begin when I looked up, they all had her face. Same face. Different font. It was frightening. Disorienting. Too real to dismiss. When I shared the dream with my therapist, her expression shifted. It was as if a missing piece had finally landed where it belonged. Without hesitation, she assigned me a book to read before our next session: Psychopath Free . I read it in a matter of days. My session, however, was months away. By the time I finished the book, it was filled with notes, pages folded, passages underlined, patterns circled. I recognized my family in it. My child’s father. The relationship I was in at the time. Even a manager I once had while working at a hotel. It felt like the room was spinning. What I was reading wasn’t just information; it was my entire life reflected back to me. These people ...
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