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Wide Awake VI Breaking Free

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  In the book, The Coaches Connect Volume II , the writer, Annette M. Avery, talks about how she stayed too long in toxic relationships. She talked about how the signs were all there, but her lack of boundaries and love for herself made it easy for men to groom her. She talked about overstaying her welcome in this situation when the signs were there and how the longer she stayed, the worse matters got.   I have been where she was. It was the last one that woke me up. The last one slowed me down enough to pay attention, so I started taking notes, reading up on what was happening, and talking to my therapist. Combining all three helped me trace what was happening to my childhood. I firmly believe that we should use our past as a reference so that we can adjust our attempts in the future. Before that relationship, I was not doing that. I started over the same. I thought changing a few external things would make a difference, but I later learned the hard way: I needed to go within.    Not
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Navigating Betrayal: Identifying the Stage You’re In & Learning to Process Your Feelings

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Mark 14:44, ESV: “ Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, The one I will kiss is the man. Seize him and lead him away under guard.”   When we think of betrayal, disloyalty, and being sold out comes to mind. Someone has broken our trust, deceived us, or hurt us. When caught, it is quickly said, “it was not intentional,” but how can it not be when it began with a thought? The act was thought about and then acted upon, so how could that not be intentional? If we kept it real, it is because we are a people that do not take accountability and own the fact that we are bruised and damaging to others. We want to do what we want and what we have been allowed to do.   I have experienced betrayal in the following ways: Friends siding with the enemy. Family assassinating my character. Co-workers were spreading rumors. Not being defended & More   Because of the shame and humiliation associated with betrayal, I found my way back to Depression Avenue, and each time was worse than the la
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You Will Make it Through

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  Allow me to encourage you; you will make it through. I do not know what is draining you mentally, emotionally, or physically but you will make it through.   Last year whipped our ass in more ways than one. I got some licks in, but the gut punches dropped me. While the moments I was down to catch my wind seemed like months, I got back up with a strategy. I studied my enemy and the moves it made to take me out, so when I rose again, I did so with knowledge and power. It is only power because I applied it. What would it profit me to learn and never use what I learned during those adverse times? I went through a season of unpaid invoices, taking care of a family member, deciding to leave a toxic work environment, and accepting what I thought I had with someone I did not.   All of this happened back to back. It was a lot. I did not know where to start unpacking it all. The mental exhaustion got the best of me, so I decided my first step was to get some rest. While resting, I began having
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From Pit to Purpose

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  Do you feel trapped? Is there a feeling you will never escape despite your trying? I have been in cycles like that, too. I once gave up on trying. It was comfortable staying the way I was because I did not have to exert a lot of energy changing. Well, I realized that mindset was stealing my life. It was robbing me of the life I could have had. The life on the other side of all that I had been through. While it was within my reach, my perspective on life kept the door locked. My pit of choice was stagnancy because of depression, unhealthy thought processes, low self-worth, and constant shrinking to make others feel good. Take a moment to ask yourself and write what your pit (s) look like in your journal. Be honest with yourself and list what keeps you stuck. Pits could be: Faulty Mindset Toxic Relationship Toxic Work Environment The pain you will not address Controlling Ideologies Your Beliefs Trying to fit in & More When we think of a pit, we think of a black hole. It is dark and
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Navigating Overwhelm

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  According to Webster, they define overwhelm as overcome by superior force or numbers. Just reading that definition was triggering as I recalled the times, I was so overwhelmed with life I wanted nothing to do with it. When we go through things back-to-back, it feels like they bury us in them. It’s hard to resurface when we need help to figure out where to dig. The best advice I can offer is to dig. The more we dig, the more we see the sunshine; once a way of escape has been made, don’t stop there. We must evaluate the forces, determine how they sunk their teeth in us, and create a plan to navigate those circumstances. From personal experience,  assessing the damage helps us to grow. Every time we experience weather we are not used to here in Louisiana, there is always a plan in place, just in case we experience it again. It may catch us by surprise the first time, but we are ready to get through with ease the next time. The same way the city learns from the previous difficulties is
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Navigating Through A Lack of Support

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  In my upcoming book, The Coaches Connect Volume II , I talk about some of the different emotional setbacks (disappointments) we experience. We may not realize it, but this one sets us back when we have expectations of people, and they do not come through.   Initially, I had the mindset that friends and family are not your target audience, so don’t expect them to support you. After some deep reflection, I had a shift in my thinking concerning this. A journal entry helped me to realize that I made this excuse to avoid facing how I felt about not being supported. My feelings surrounding this topic had deep roots, and it took some time to surface the origin of this thought process.  I can stand in my truth today and say that the support I longed for from my family I never received, and it wounded me greatly. I put myself in a position to not attain my dreams to avoid anyone not showing up. After some time, I did things here and there, but I did not share too much with others. I felt
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Navigating Setbacks Through Journaling

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  I rarely begin my post this way, but why not? Let's do an activity together. Think about your 2022 until this point. If each month represented a difficulty you faced, make a list of them. For example: ●       January-Lost, my job ●       February-Child support payments ceased ●       March-Someone hit my car ●       April-I got a minor break ●       June-Found, a new job, catching up on bills ●       July-Still trying to catch up ●       August-Almost there By now, you get the picture. In your journal, write each adversity and how you handled it. If you run from it, own that. Was your response healthy (mentally, emotionally, & physically), or did more mishaps occur because of your reactions?  For each month/challenge, write out your feelings. Pour your heart on paper, telling the who, what, when, where, why, and how it all made you feel. For each adversity you listed for each month, consider these questions: Have you grieved the loss of your job? Have you petitioned the
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