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The Downswing of the Pendulum

  Allow me space and grace to be authentic. There are times when I am on the upswing; everything is going well. I am accomplishing, feeling great about life, opportunities are looking for me, and my bag is secure. Then there is the downswing. OMG, the downswing. It feels like everything is upside down. Business is slow, children are different, energy is low, and I need a break. Yes, I got six jobs, but I get tired. I have found that when the pendulum is on the downswing, I need to rest and recalibrate. That is not a time to try to force things to happen. That is a time to center me and indulge in self-care. I can set goals, create visions, and make them plain, but those are the times to cease work to come back stronger mentally. If we prepare for the downswing during the upswing, desperation will not take over, and we can enter into rest.    I've gone through a lot, and I've learned to abase and abound. I know how good it feels to be up and how depressing it can feel when I'
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Relax & Recharge

  Have you ever been so tired, but you pushed yourself rather than relaxing? Did you find that your work was mediocre during this time? Usually, when fueled, you give your best, but lately, your body has been signaling the need to unplug, but you ignored all signs. I know you are tired of hearing about self-care practices, but we have to recharge as part of being our best selves wearing the many hats we do. Your cell phone battery dies when it is constantly in use without recharging. So why do we give a device a break and charge it but not our bodies? You are stressing your organs out, so do this for yourself and understand the value in some R&R.    Relaxing and Recharging do not always require going out of town, but if you can, do that too. I love the beach. The water is so relaxing; I can hear clearly and release any blocks that prevent my creativity from flowing. Finding that happy place for yourself is essential. Maybe a bookstore, a quick drive on the freeway listening to your

Write, Simplify & Flow

  Habakkuk 2:2 says, Write the vision: make it plain so that he may run who reads it.      Write the Vision    I can not count the number of people I hear saying they do not like to write when I tell them journaling is the core of my coaching practice. When I hear those words, they often remind me of Habakkuk 2:2. When setting goals, part of the manifestation process is to take what is in your imagination (vision) and put it on paper (write). Any other way is skipping steps that may hinder bringing forth what you want. As a journal therapist, I teach about the importance of writing and its benefits, such as sharpening memory, providing clarity, strengthening emotional wellbeing, boosting your mood, and improve your overall mental health, to name a few. You can google statistics about writing, and studies will show how important it is to do so. I am a dreamer. Dreams are writers. I have experienced missing out on something I foresaw because I failed to write it down. There w

#1 Most Scariest Rollercoaster

  As a child, I loved rollercoaster rides. It was the highlight of any vacation with my dad or whomever I went it. They were huge, scary, and got my adrenaline rushing every time. I enjoyed the thrill so much I wanted to take a spin repeatedly. It did not matter if these things had me hanging upside down, entering a dragon’s mouth, taking me underwater, or looped me faster than I can think. I wanted it. Boy, was it fun! Of course, I wouldn’t dare do it alone; I needed company to experience them with me. I wanted them to feel everything I felt; there was no way I needed to be there alone. The scariest ride was not one I experienced on vacation; I was in my hometown. I stood there pondering the outcome if I went there. The longer I thought about it, the deeper I traveled into my thoughts. I no longer had control, I lost myself in it, and at the time, it felt good. I felt empowered going there, although the side effects were dangerous. After I got off the ride and became aware of my surro

Accountability Shall Set You Free

  I understand that we have done things a certain way for so long; a different direction scares the life out of us. As cliché as it sounds, there is no way to get a different result doing the same thing. I came to realize this. I judged my life and the circles I was going in. I could pinpoint when I would be up, and the moment I would sink, year after year. Then one year, I decided to break the cycle. I did not care what anyone thought about what I was doing or my investments; I did what I needed to for myself. You will have to get to that point also if you want what you want. I had to make one of two choices, give up or fight. Too often, we choose to give up rather than fight for who we desire to be. During the process, I learned I had to do it solo. There was no tribe initially; I, myself, and my will to want better for my life. Don’t get me wrong, I grew upset when there was no support, but I could not blame anyone for not believing in me if I had no hope in myself. We can only expe

The Devaluing of the Single Mother

  Are you aware of the chatter? It’s heard loud and clear; secret thoughts are no longer private anymore. Like a car depreciating as it exits the car lot, single mothers are made to feel this way for giving life. I found that women with husbands are belittling us just as much as men are. Do we do anything right? I use to wonder why there was such a great fear behind being a single mother. Some would have rather died than to be marked with those scarlet letters. Many did not make it because bringing them forth was not an option due to the stigma.   Single mothers are targeted and verbally destroyed. And by all means, don’t be a black single mother, double whammy! Black women experience demonization for having children out of wedlock and for being a black woman. It is not enough that our menstrual is considered a curse; let’s take it a step further and apply that to our existence.   Did you hear about the law passed to wear the hair growing from our scalp freely; then we have to listen

Flawed Measurement of My Strength

Why is my strength determined by how much you put me through? Did you watch your mom break time and time again only to embrace him once again? Was that strength to you? How many times must I cry a river and torpedo inside? I am vital to you because you cheated, and I took you back. I am capable of you because I raised our child in lack. I am stable to you because you deliberately abused me psychologically, and I did not break. You don’t see the damage as I have learned to pretend well. Maybe my ability to act is a strength. When will my strength be measured by my success and not my pain? You don’t understand how many times I wanted to take the easy way out. How many times I stood over you as you slept, wanting to put your lights out. How many times I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t say goodbye. That does not mean I am strong; it is a weakness. But your mother did it, you say. When will you admit you despise her? She distorted your view of all women; you have convinced yourself otherw