The Pits I Dug

 I contributed to a book about the pits I landed in due to how I responded to life’s challenges. How I responded became a detrimental habit I fought to break free from. I was destroying my life from the inside out. Life was grand when things were good, but emotional turmoil was my portion when the toxic pattern kicked in.


While journaling yesterday, I thought about my pit experiences. Yes, experience (s). There were many, some I dug for myself. One author in the same book referenced above talked about how she stayed too long in terrible relationships. As I journaled, I cried, thinking about how my decision to remain in spaces longer than needed caused great mental and emotional calamity. Yes, I experienced abuse mentally and emotionally. I experienced betrayal trauma, but the red flags were clear before getting too deep. I had dreams; I heard song lyrics and even had a few messages warning me, but I overrode my intuition. My gut screamed to run the other way, but I stayed.



I tarried to leave the sinking ships. By the time I wanted to go, I felt trapped, so I self-medicated to cope daily. There were so many pieces of me shattered everywhere. I could not make it through the day without numbing the pain with substances. I was crying desperately, needing change. But that dark hole was insufficient for me to stop getting in them. I still needed to learn my lesson. It would take a far worse relationship before I learn to trust my gut and love myself.


I had not yet understood that we do not remain in toxicity to prove ourselves to people who do not care about us. I thought I was enough to change for. And when there was no change, my self-esteem plummeted, leaving me ashamed. The one pit multiplied, and I had to deal with so many at once I thought I was dying. One situation produced so many holes I could not count. Whenever I freed myself from one, I had 50 more to go. Healing seemed exhausting, but it was necessary.


The longer I overstayed my welcome, the more I suffered mentally. I do not know what you are facing today as you read this, but allow me to encourage you to curate an exit plan and run as fast as you can from the relationship, family members, job, and friends you allow to leave you in pieces. Learn from your pit experiences, heal, and grow. Seek counseling so a trained professional can help you identify patterns in your life, guide you as you face your soul, and help you free yourself from holding the shovel to your physiological demise.




If this blog post helped open your eyes, please share it on your platforms. If you are ready to go from pit to purpose, grab a copy of my workbook, the course, or both. You owe it to yourself.


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