Skip to main content

The Downswing of the Pendulum


Allow me space and grace to be authentic. There are times when I am on the upswing; everything is going well. I am accomplishing, feeling great about life, opportunities are looking for me, and my bag is secure. Then there is the downswing. OMG, the downswing. It feels like everything is upside down. Business is slow, children are different, energy is low, and I need a break. Yes, I got six jobs, but I get tired. I have found that when the pendulum is on the downswing, I need to rest and recalibrate. That is not a time to try to force things to happen. That is a time to center me and indulge in self-care. I can set goals, create visions, and make them plain, but those are the times to cease work to come back stronger mentally. If we prepare for the downswing during the upswing, desperation will not take over, and we can enter into rest. 


I've gone through a lot, and I've learned to abase and abound. I know how good it feels to be up and how depressing it can feel when I'm down. The goal is to count it all joy despite the swing, and preparation is vital. Mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally prepare for these times so that you will stand. I know it is fantastic to be strong all the time, but that is not reality. Being yourself behind the scenes as well as when playing the lead role is integral. There is no need to pretend for anyone when God sees the internal struggle. We are most effective when we are true to ourselves. Life will happen, there will be ups and downs, your perception and preparation will keep you. It is okay to prepare; that does not mean your faith is small. Even Jesus said he had to go away to prepare a place. 


Take a moment to understand that balance requires leveling, and with leveling, the scale will tilt up and down. In the process of leveling, there will be high points leaving some areas low. Until you have reached optimal balance during those intense moments, lean on your support system to maintain mental and emotional health. You can also build resilience through thoughtful actions; ask yourself, will this decision help or hinder me when you are up? If you question every decision, you are not confident in your decision-making, strengthening yourself in that area. Fear keeps us on the downswing longer than we should be, if you think about a scale, it does not stay down long before it balances, but when we choose fear as our immediate reaction, there is a flight delay to the top. 


Give yourself permission starting today to feel what you feel. You may think things are chaotic, but beauty can come from the very moments you question:


When your body signals time to rest, take care of yourself.

  1. Do not feel the need to stay busy all the time; that is not healthy.  
  2. During the time's things are not up, reframe from forcing anything. Review your strategy and make modifications if needed.
  3. Make investments where the return is honorable.
  4. Never make big decisions when you are emotionally at a low point; practice gratitude until you feel mental well enough to make those decisions.

Thanks for reading. You are worth the investment! If you found this article enlightening, please share it on your platforms.

Say Hello On:



Tune in to my podcast:

Tea & Talk with Toya

Visit my book store:

Blog originally submitted for a magazine entry.



Popular posts from this blog

Relax & Recharge

  Have you ever been so tired, but you pushed yourself rather than relaxing? Did you find that your work was mediocre during this time? Usually, when fueled, you give your best, but lately, your body has been signaling the need to unplug, but you ignored all signs. I know you are tired of hearing about self-care practices, but we have to recharge as part of being our best selves wearing the many hats we do. Your cell phone battery dies when it is constantly in use without recharging. So why do we give a device a break and charge it but not our bodies? You are stressing your organs out, so do this for yourself and understand the value in some R&R.    Relaxing and Recharging do not always require going out of town, but if you can, do that too. I love the beach. The water is so relaxing; I can hear clearly and release any blocks that prevent my creativity from flowing. Finding that happy place for yourself is essential. Maybe a bookstore, a quick drive on the freeway listening to your

Family Anatomy, Wide Awake Part II

  So here I am in this lifeless city. How long will I be here this time? I do not want to get comfortable, but I have already been here two days too many. As I walked through looking for shelter, every street reminded me of my childhood. While I grew up devalued if I made the simplest mistake, male family members did the bare minimum and were exalted. If they failed, it was the women in the family's fault. I learned men were not to be held accountable early.  Wounds such as these were so deep I fought not to succumb to them. Even when I stood up for myself, I felt defeated. Men could do no wrong, but my breathing was an issue if I breathed too deeply. On many levels, I understood that growing up in a black household was one of the hardest things to do.  Explaining something to a man meant I castrated him with my mouth. Not being a doormat meant I was not submissive, and walking away told me I was weak. A woman can’t win. When did this start? Was it the misogyny we are governed by t

Identifying When To Invest In A Life Coach

Some life coaches have experienced trauma, healed and overcame it, and are now helping others. They have become who they need for others. Other times, they have mastered an area of their lives and are now helping others who exhibit gifts in that same area. Your need for a coach will depend on where you lack the knowledge or resources to accomplish your goals.   Coaching and consultants are taking the industry by storm. Anything you need, there is someone to help. It is a matter of finding them and making sure they are a good fit. By the end of this article, if you feel you need a coach but not in my area, please email me to help you find who you need.  Life Coaching does for the mind what a personal trainer does for the body. We help with assessing a situation to provide strategies for moving forward. It is a gradual process that allows individuals to dig beneath their thoughts and beliefs to help them understand internal obstacles to their success and wellbeing. Coaches help people