The Closure Scam

We’ve all heard the phrase, “I just need closure.”

But if we’re being real, closure isn’t always what we think it is.

I recently wrote that the only closure you need is the sound of the door closing as they’re on their way out. And I meant that.

Because sometimes, “wanting closure” is just a dressed-up way of saying, “I’m not ready to let go.”
We say we want answers, but what we really want is one more look, one more text, one more chance to change someone’s mind.

Let’s call it what it is — the closure scam.

The truth is, closure rarely gives you peace. What we’re actually chasing is control. We want to make sense of someone’s choices, their betrayal, their silence. But closure doesn’t come from their explanation; it comes from your acceptance.

I say “we,” but I really mean you.
Because I’ve already accepted the fact that the way someone psychologically violated me was my closure.

It took me a while to understand that closure isn’t a conversation; it’s a conclusion. It’s not what they say, it’s what you decide.

You don’t need another sit-down to “talk it out.” You don’t need to craft the perfect text just to get a response that will only open an old wound. You don’t need a reason that makes sense.
You need no contact.
You need reflection.
You need healing that doesn’t involve their presence.

We often use “closure” as a reason to linger in places God has already closed off.
You’re not searching for peace, you’re bargaining with pain.

Kehlani said it best in her song “Folded”: she could’ve thrown the clothes out, but instead she folded them, left the door open, and confessed that her heart wasn’t yet cold. That moment wasn’t closure; it was attachment. The act of folding was symbolic; she wasn’t ready to release what had already left her.

And maybe that’s what you’re doing, too, neatly folding the remnants of something that needed to be thrown out long ago.

Closure isn’t a reunion. It’s not an explanation. It’s not a text, a call, or a one-last-time conversation.
Closure is the day you stop needing an answer.
It’s when you stop asking why and start choosing what’s next.

You don’t need closure.
You need boundaries.
You need acceptance.
You need to walk away with your dignity intact and your peace protected.

Because what you really need isn’t closure,
it’s clarity.

Thank you for reading! I hope

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