Their Wounds Don’t Define Your Worth

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Someone once said, "Their wounds don't determine your value."

That statement stopped me in my tracks. It pierced right through me because, for so long, I believed the opposite. There was a time when I let others' treatment of me dictate how I saw myself. If someone dismissed, mistreated, or devalued me, I thought it must have been because I deserved it. I believed I wasn't good enough, I could have done better, maybe I was the problem.

It's a damaging way to think, and it cost me my youth navigating life under that mindset.

When I think about it, I can see exactly where it started. I internalized the way my parents treated me. My mother's abuse made me feel unworthy of love. My father's emotional absence made me question whether I was even worth showing up for. If the people who brought me into this world couldn't treat me as valuable, why would I expect anyone else to? That was the seed, the lie I carried into every relationship.

And so, I unconsciously attached my value to how people handled me. Every mistreatment became confirmation of the unworthiness I already felt inside. Every betrayal, every abandonment, every rejection was added proof.

But here's what I've come to know: how someone chooses to treat me is a reflection of them, not me.

That realization didn't come easily. It took a toxic relationship with a narcissist to shake me awake. That relationship, as painful as it was, triggered my spiritual awakening. It forced me to look deeper at myself, my patterns, and the lies I had believed for so long. I began to see that people often act from their wounds, triggers, and limitations. Their behavior is a mirror of their own character, not a report card of mine.

My parents made decisions. My ex made decisions. Former friends made decisions. None of those choices defined me. They simply revealed who they were. I was only a casualty of the choices they were already committed to making.

And that's the shift,  realizing I am not what was done to me. Their wounds don't determine my worth.

I get to choose what I believe about myself. I get to rewrite the story. I get to live in the truth that I am valuable, regardless of how others mishandled me.

Reflection Prompts

  1. Have you ever internalized someone else's actions as a reflection of your worth?

  2. When you think back to your childhood, what beliefs about love and value did you unconsciously pick up?

  3. Can you name a moment when you realized someone's behavior was more about them than it was about you?

  4. How would your life change if you fully embraced the truth that their wounds don't define your value?

  5. What new belief about yourself are you ready to hold onto moving forward?



Thank you for reading! I hope today’s post sparked reflection, inspiration, or maybe even a little healing. Be sure to check back next week for a new dose of truth, growth, and real talk here on Unaltered Voices, where authenticity always has a seat at the table.

Visit https://payhip.com/UnalteredVoices to explore more resources, guides, and inspiration for your personal and creative journey. See you next week!

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