A Reflective Look Inward
It was one of those weeks. I did not feel like doing anything or going anywhere. I felt tired, but I was unsuccessful when I tried to sleep. Whatever it was, I could not shake it. Before, I did not take the time to explore the feeling deeper, but this time it was different. I wanted to know what this pattern was all about. While I figured it was my body's way of telling me I had absorbed so many emotions I needed to release and recharge, there was something different about this moment. It was familiar but different. There was something I needed to pay attention to. The feeling would not let up, no matter what I did to shake it. I determined it was time for me to do some heart-searching.
Have you heard the term introspection? If you have worked with a coach, they probably called it going within. Some may have said it was soul searching, but in a nutshell, it is an examination or observation of one's mental and emotional processes. Last week, along with another coach from The Coaches Connect, I discussed tracking patterns. It is essential to consider everything that leads up to the setbacks we experience while on the journey of accomplishing. What took place and how you responded is a great start. From there, look at the last several setbacks and ask yourself if the pattern is the same. If so, you have developed a habit, and looking inward will help you learn where the response originated and how to heal it.
On my journey, I had to dig deeper into why I craved validation. There was a time when the approval of others would make or break me. That was a scary way to live because when people picked up that scent, they weaponized my need for approval. When I started healing those mother wounds, I changed a lot. People took notice and realized I was going to do me, regardless. Be prepared to make them mad, but who cares? Always choose yourself. Self-analysis is a great way to discover why you seek others' approval. When we can look at ourselves and identify those flaws that feed on needing another's validation, we can grow to navigate through them rather than hide them.
After much-needed time alone to journal, unpack, and reflect, I could locate an unaddressed wound. While I stopped waiting for others to acknowledge me before I set forth to accomplish my goals, I found I gave too much of myself without requiring much in return. As a child, I used to show my relatives pictures I colored or shared my dreams, but they did not pay attention to me. If I wasn't told to go sit down, I was told, "that's nice," to get me to stop interrupting. I wanted them to be just as excited and tell me I could be whatever I desired, but that is not what happened. I was in my thirties before anyone told me they were proud of me. By then, it was hard to receive. I thought I addressed this wound when I got to where I could move forward with my desires, but I had not because once I got there, I was still trying to convince others I was worthy. I learned that one wound had many roots, and to heal, they all had to be addressed. This wound affected my business. I was overextending myself and not charging my worth, only to have people not pay their total bill or choose someone high ticketed offering very little value. After realizing this, I had to unplug for a moment to give everything a facelift. I Am Worthy! Trying to prove that ended at that moment.
- When was the last time you took time to examine yourself?
- What resulted from doing so?
- In what area of your life do you overextend yourself
- Why do you think you do that?
- Write every instance you have given too much and gotten little in return.
- Can you pinpoint when that started?
- What would it take for you to believe you are worthy?
Thanks for reading. I hope the information shared helps you discover what's limiting you and the steps to take to overcome it.
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