If you read my book, Alone In the Dark, you were let in on the origin of me sinking into a deep state of sadness and how it played out in my life. So I understand when circumstances arise, feeling the emotion of sorrow so strongly, it feels like it is easier to give up than to face the cause of it. I gave up, time and time again. Depression became my residence because I overstayed my welcome. Even when something broke the door down to free me, Stockholm set in, so I always went back. Every time was more challenging than the last. I hated it there, but I didn’t think I was strong enough to stay away. Feeling sad had become a standard way of feeling. I may have felt other emotions, but depression was common.
During these times, I did not have a safe place. I learned in the darkest hours that family and friends could not be what they never had. When we think about it, we do not know how to express emotions in healthy ways and when we encounter someone that does; we say minimizing things making matters worse. Telling someone “you are stronger than this” when they are hurting and pouring their heart out is the most ignorant thing to say. We have equated processing to weakness, and that is an enormous problem. I broke down in front of others, and they mocked me. Those I trusted exploited my pain, so I refused to fall apart before anyone ever again. On my bedroom floor, drowning in a pool of tears, I decided at that moment to break. Everything I carried for years broke. I did not recognize myself when the weights fell off. When I got up, I was ready to devise a plan to heal and recover from life's setbacks. I studied myself, my patterns, and my responses to pinpoint the issue. I had to deal with my mindset and how I first thought of myself.
Glad I no longer give my life over to these depressive battles; I am in a much better space than I was yesterday. Although life continues to happen, I am proud to say I find my way to process, release, and move forward with solutions. I will unplug, get some rest, clean my house and my head, determine if I had seen the battle before, and approach it differently. What is this, and why is it?
The steps I took to overcome did not happen overnight. Healing takes time. Undoing hurt and disappointment requires work that we should put in daily.
You Owe It To Yourself!
Ways I Overcame:
I learned the difference between depression and a bout of sadness
I traced the origin, the event that occurred, and I reframed it
I took accountability for the decisions I made
I sought professional help
I stopped expecting more from others than I did for myself
I started meditating
I discovered new passions
Instead of dwelling on the problem, I sought solutions
I intentionally cried
I forgave myself
I continue to use these ways to navigate challenging times in life and come back to my center. Allowing myself to feel my feelings has helped dramatically. In doing so, I can judge what is happening, if I am blowing it out of proportion or if there is something to learn. Most have known to run from how they feel, project them onto others, or blame someone rather than take some accountability. Emotions are part of life. There is a healthy way to respond to them. Consider some self-exploration and learn yourself at your core.
Thanks for reading. I hope the information shared helps you navigate the experience you are facing in life that has brought you to such a low state.
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