The Strength Is In Letting Go
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I never want anyone to say I am a good person and then describe me as a woman who "held on" while I was being dragged through the mud. That is not strength, that is survival at the expense of my soul. And honestly, it is more frightening than holding on out of fear.
When I sat down and really thought about it, asking myself why I kept holding on, the truth hit me: I didn't want to lose. The humiliation of betrayal made me feel like I was already losing, and holding on, no matter how destructive, felt like a way to soften the blow. I don't fully understand the correlation yet, but I know this: I equated letting go with defeat. I thought staying meant I still had control.
But let me tell you this, there is no victory in bleeding out while clutching the very thing that cut you.
I am not writing this to dwell on pain, but to help you heal as you read. To help you recognize the same pattern in yourself if it's there. Because once you see it, you can free yourself.
Yes, the initial shock of betrayal is gut-wrenching. It feels like your world has caved in. But if you can allow yourself to shatter, really shatter, and then get up, dust off the debris, and keep walking, you will move differently. You won't keep holding on to what has been breaking you piece by piece.
It may take one heartbreak, or two, or three, but eventually, you'll say enough. Eventually, you'll realize the game is over.
So I ask you:
Why have you held on even when the betrayal has nearly stopped your heart?
Are you holding on because of humiliation?
Do you believe you've "won" because you've manipulated someone into staying?
Why do we grip so tightly the very thing that's ripping the skin from our hands? We are left bruised, bleeding, and unable to even close our fists. The pain from holding on becomes worse than the pain of betrayal itself because now we are nursing both our wounded hearts and our wounded hands.
I never again want to hold on to anyone who has already made their choice through their actions. My strength is no longer in clutching what destroys me.
My strength is in letting go.
Reflection Prompts
What have you been holding on to that has been breaking you piece by piece?
Do you mistake "holding on" for strength? Why?
What would it look like, in your life, to let go and begin to heal?
How do you want your strength to be measured moving forward?
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