I Learned to Solve Instead of Sit in It

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I’m a solution-oriented person.

I don’t dwell on the same problem for too long, not because I lack emotion, but because life trained me that way.

I give space for feelings.

If you need to cry, vent, or process, I’ll hold space for you the first time. But after that, I want to move forward. Not because I don’t care, but because staying in it too long creates emotional chaos that drains the spirit.

I’m like this because I had no choice.

I’ve been solving my own problems since childhood. Not figuratively, literally. I was a child in a house full of adults I couldn’t turn to. And the worst part? The very people I should have gone to were the source of the problems I needed solutions for. When your caregivers are the chaos, you learn early how to quiet your pain and keep moving.

I didn’t have time to cry. I had to figure it out.

That’s why I don’t spiral now, not because I’m healed completely, but because I had to survive.

I’ve tried sharing these truths, but people either try to exploit them or twist my story into bitterness.

But owning my story is my healing. If I were still hurting the way they assume, I wouldn’t be speaking at all.

Still, I’ve noticed something:

People get uncomfortable when you're direct. They confuse clarity with coldness. When I get straight to the point, some people stop seeking my support altogether. And that’s fine. Because I’ve learned, some people don’t want solutions. They want sympathy. They want attention. They want someone to validate a version of their story that allows them to stay in it.

Some people will invent problems just to feel seen.

Because deep down, they’re starving for validation. And when I don’t feed that cycle, it offends them.

But I’m not here to stroke egos.

I’m here to evolve. And I’m not sorry if my clarity is mistaken for coldness. It’s just the product of a life that required me to keep moving when no one else did.



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