Can You Hold What You’ve Never Been Given
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I don’t hold space for many people. In fact, outside of my daughter and one person I consider a true friend, I rarely do. Not because I don’t want to. But because I’ve never had anyone truly hold space for me. I’ve never had someone sit with me in my silence. Or listen without judgment, without trying to fix me. No one has ever offered me that sacred kind of presence, the kind where you feel emotionally safe, not analyzed or dismissed. When I’ve been in pain, people have either shown up to make sure I was still suffering, Or to see how I managed to escape the trap they tried to keep me in. So I learned to process alone. To cry in silence. To break, heal, and rebuild without an audience. And because of that, I now understand why I’ve struggled to hold space for others. You can’t hold what you’ve never been given. You can’t offer someone an emotional safe space if you’ve never felt that kind of safety yourself. I had a recent conversation with someone who was hurting, and I realize...