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Showing posts from June, 2025

Can You Hold What You’ve Never Been Given

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  I don’t hold space for many people. In fact, outside of my daughter and one person I consider a true friend, I rarely do. Not because I don’t want to. But because I’ve never had anyone truly hold space for me. I’ve never had someone sit with me in my silence. Or listen without judgment, without trying to fix me. No one has ever offered me that sacred kind of presence, the kind where you feel emotionally safe, not analyzed or dismissed. When I’ve been in pain, people have either shown up to make sure I was still suffering, Or to see how I managed to escape the trap they tried to keep me in. So I learned to process alone. To cry in silence. To break, heal, and rebuild without an audience. And because of that, I now understand why I’ve struggled to hold space for others. You can’t hold what you’ve never been given. You can’t offer someone an emotional safe space if you’ve never felt that kind of safety yourself. I had a recent conversation with someone who was hurting, and I realize...

Walking Away from Cages

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I was reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle, and I had to close the book at one point because the tears wouldn’t stop. She wrote about walking away from cages , and I knew with my whole body what she meant. For most of my life, I lived inside invisible cages. Cages of conditioning. Cages of performance. Cages of survival. I didn’t know who I was, not entirely, until my late thirties. That’s when I began to tap in. But the timing was painful, because while I was trying to tap in the relationship, I was in was trying to tap me out emotionally. By the time I got free, I felt like I was starting all over again. Even leaving that relationship felt like another cage. I wanted it to work, not just because I loved the person, but because I had experienced so much failure in love that another ending felt like proof that something was wrong with me. But walking away was the first time I truly began walking toward myself. Over time, I’ve been learning to leave the cages behind. Some of them were lo...