Unaltered Voices

  As life continues to unfold, I find myself reflecting deeply on the last five years, a period where, unknowingly, I was entangled in the web of toxic relationships designed to break me. Looking back, one thing becomes clear: when your light shines even a little too brightly, those who have dimmed their own will often work overtime to dim yours too. The goal of the toxic person is simple: bring you down to their level. And sadly, much of what they despise in you is often beauty, strength, and resilience you haven't even fully recognized in yourself yet. I've come to hate that sometimes it takes great pain for us to realize who we are. It's in the betrayal, the loneliness, the subtle wounds that never quite scar over, that's where identity is forced to be reclaimed. Growing up, my mother used backhanded tactics to chip away at my self-esteem. I vividly remember how she would gush over my cousins: "Oh, you're so beautiful," she'd say, over and over, i...

Friendships should be a safe space where you feel supported, uplifted, and celebrated. But not all friendships are built on genuine connections. Some people enter your life not to pour into you but to drain you. They want to dim your light, chip away at your confidence, and keep you beneath them. These are narcissistic friendships ; if you’ve ever felt like a “friend” was more of an opponent, you may have experienced one firsthand. At first, their behavior may seem subtle—a backhanded compliment here, an odd reaction to your success there. But over time, the pattern becomes clear. Signs of a Narcissistic Friendship 1. They Have a Superiority Complex No matter what you accomplish, they find a way to make themselves seem better . They constantly try to outshine you , downplay your wins, and make sure you never feel like you’re on their level. They might say things like: “Oh, that’s cute for you, but I’m aiming higher.” “I mean, anyone could have done that.” “I’ve been doing that for year...

I do not consider anyone a friend who secretly competes with me. Friendship should be built on support, trust, and mutual respect—not an unspoken rivalry. Yet, repeatedly, I encounter people who, instead of cheering for me, are measuring themselves against me. At first, I may not notice it, but the moment I do, my default setting activates: fallback mode . One thing about me is that I refuse to engage in a competition I never signed up for. Competition Among Friends? No Thanks. At my age, I didn’t expect to be still navigating these kinds of dynamics with other women. I thought we had outgrown the need to one-up each other, to compare secretly, to let jealousy creep into friendships. But here we are. The sad truth? Some people don’t know how to just be —they only know how to compete. They are so disconnected from their own authenticity that they base their worth on being “better” than the next person. But here’s the thing: My aura cannot be competed against. I am who I am. I own that...

At 40, she had never experienced love—not real love. She had grown up in a toxic environment surrounded by dysfunction, where love was more of a concept than a reality. She had seen glimpses of what she thought love was, accepted what was given, and convinced herself that it was enough. But deep down, she knew it wasn’t. Year after year, the same script played out in her life, just with different characters. The names changed, the faces changed, but the cycle remained the same. And at some point, she could predict the ending before the story even began. The Wake-Up Call: A Mindset Shift Her pastor always told her, "You have to change your mindset." But what did that even mean? She had no blueprint, no reference for what healthy love looked like. So, she carried on, unaware of the depths of the wounds she was operating from. Until one day, the teacher appeared. It’s said that when the student is ready, the teacher will show up. When she finally reached a point where she was ...